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When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
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So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said \'You\'ve been promoted\'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said \'You\'ve been promoted again\'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said \'You\'re managing director.\' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said \'What happened to you?\' And I Said \'I careered off the road.\'
A man\'s only as old as the woman he feels.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven\'t said enough.
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Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
I\'ve had a wonderful time, but this wasn\'t it.
Build a man a fire, and he\'ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he\'ll be warm for the rest of his life.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
War doesn\'t make boys men, it makes men dead.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven\'t said enough.
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you\'ll be afraid to cough.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren\'t, then I\'d be a teacher.
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
I\'m not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
If you think it\'s simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
We\'re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
Oh for pity\'s sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
Jesus may love you, but I think you\'re garbage wrapped in skin.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
Computer dating is fine, if you\'re a computer.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/17/(Tue) 19:07
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